Guys Yelling! It's the 2016 NBA DRAFT Superlatives!!!
I decided to mix it up this year, aka not watch as much tape because this year of college hoops sucked. So instead of giving you boring predictions on like 25 dudes, I decided to make this yearbook style and award some superlatives out to some of the top guys (and not top guys) in this draft. And much like a yearbook I am expecting all that look into said yearbook to sign it with some funny comment about
MOST LIKELY TO
BUST - Jaylen Brown 6’7” 223 lbs. SF Cal Fr. – Kid looks like a
mid first rounder to me. He can stay in the league for a few years just on his
physical tools, but I don’t quite understand why you would take him anywhere in
the top 5. He has a lazy, low IQ game that relies on athleticism. I think where
he ends up will be huge for his development. If he lands with a team that knows
how to bring out the best in him, he has a chance to be a solid 2 way player,
but if not, he will just be an athletic guy with not much skill in the end of a
rotation. I dug up what I could about his personality and if he has the drive,
but after 2 minutes of nothing I gave up. If he can get to a coach that can max
him out he could be Jae Crowder, but if I were picking…as my favorite Jalen
would say “NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO DO IT!”
MOST IN NEED OF GREAT COACH - Marquese Chriss 6’9”
225 lbs. PF Washington Fr. – Chriss
really pops when you watch him. Dude gets up. And he’s so young. I was kind of
surprised he was getting hype as a possible third pick in the draft, but after
watching the tape I totally see it. I compare him to Whiteside because I see
the same inconsistent motor, bonehead plays, and some iffy body language, but I
don’t think it will take Chriss flunking out of the league to find himself.
Someone that can coach him up can make this kid a potential all star at some
point in his career and I think it’s likely to happen. Make him a top 5 pick or
else…
MOST LIKELY TO STRUGGLE
WITH NBA ATHLETES - Jamal Murray 6’4” 200 lbs. PG Kentucky Fr.– A great
offensive player, Murray has an advanced understanding of how to score. The
problem is he’s not a great passer or athlete. His defense isn’t very good and I have doubts on this guy.
While I think he can be a spark plug off the bench, I don’t see him ever being
an above average starter on a good team. He is going to profit off this draft
not being very strong after the top few picks.
BEST TWO WAY
PLAYER - Kris Dunn 6’4” 205 lbs. PG Providence Sr. – This is the
best point guard in the draft, period (if Colin is reading this, settle down).
All of his weaknesses are coachable and once he isn’t the focal point of
defenses, his game will flourish. With a 6’9” wingspan, Dunn won Big East
Defensive POY while carrying the bulk of the offense on a top NCAA team. When
you listen to him in interviews, he prides himself on that side of the ball,
which is huge seeing how defense is more effort than anything else. Also likes
to make flashy plays over the simple ones and I’m real into that.
MOST WOKE - Ben Simmons 6’10” 240 lbs. SF LSU Fr. – Let me start by
saying I have no concerns about his
character or any of that other bullshit coming out against him. Ben Simmons
should be the number 1 pick. His game reminds me of a hybrid of LeBron and
Blake. Now before you start calling me crazy, or worse, Skip Bayless, I would
like a chance to explain myself. On offense he is very similar to what LeBron
was coming out. A gifted athlete (though not to the LeBron extreme because he
is the greatest athlete ever produced by mankind or a secret lab somewhere)
that doesn’t have a jump shot. Killer vision and the ability to play point for
his team. He also reminds me of Blake in the fact that his arms are short and
it limits his ability to play interior defense well. Simmons would be best
playing next to a rim protector who could cover up his deficiencies. I think
his offensive game will end up looking a lot like Blake’s does now, but with
slightly more range where he can be a 33% 3 point shooter in 5 years. Philly
won’t be an optimal fit for him since they lack outside shooting and have zero
spacing, but rest assured, my dude Ben is the best player in the draft.
MOST LIKELY TO
HELP TEAM WIN A CHIP - Brandon Ingram 6’9.5” 196 lbs. SF Duke Fr. – When you watch a
guy this tall and wiry with that outside jumper you can’t help but think of KD.
I think he can be a KD lite. Ingram won’t live and breathe basketball like
Durant does (he’s got those sleepy T-Mac eyes), but this is a player that can
fit into any team seamlessly. Now the obvious knock is that I can probably
bench more than him, which really isn’t a good sign. He will always have a
super slender frame, but if KD can play the 4 in today’s NBA, I think Ingram
can get there in time. I think he can be the second best player on a
championship team.
HIGHEST
IQ/COOLEST NAME IN THE DRAFT OBV – Dragan Bender 7’0.5” 216 lbs. PF Bosnia son 18
years old - You ever been to
Bosnia?? This should be the number 3 pick in the draft. I think he will end up
as the second or third best player in this class. Bender is younger than
everyone, but has the highest IQ. Does the little things to help your team win.
Definitely not as bouncy as some of the guys in this draft, but with a long
reach and the smarts he has, he will be a plus defender. Bender is part of the
new wave of 4 and D guys. Teams want as many of them as they can get and I have
no doubt the Dragan will be an excellent one and nothing like his older bro
Jonathan.
MOST LIKELY TO
WIN 6TH MAN - Buddy Hield 6’5” 212 lbs. SG Oklahoma Sr. – Buddy Buddy
Buddy. Dropped 25 a game with some killer outside shooting. Definitely gave a
lot of that back on the defensive end. I believe he will always be a
below-average defender and that’s what ultimately hurts his chances of being a
good starting PG. The other thing is he isn’t a good passer in a league that is
moving towards more ball movement. Buddy is going to fall somewhere between Lou
Williams and Kyrie Irving, but that’s a pretty big chasm between the two of
them. So where in that gap does he fall? Scouts say he has the intangibles and
work ethic, but I think he would be best as a scorer off the bench.
BIGGEST HEAD –
Marshall Plumlee - Another got damn
Plumlee??? UGH!!!
MOST LIKELY TO
BE COMPARED TO KEVIN LOVE – Henry Ellenson – I watched two minutes of tape on
this guy and yes he is the poor man’s version of Kevin Love. Never gonna make
an all star game, but can be a solid contributor. One might even call him a
rich man’s the Big KO, but not nearly as ugly.
MY DUDE – Cheick
Diallo 6’9” 220 lbs. PF Kansas Fr. – I saw this kid kill it in the high school
all star games last year, but I guess he lived in Bill Self’s dog house this
year because he didn’t get much PT (7.5 mpg). That will change in the NBA. You
want the next Bismack Biyombo? Look no further. This guy is active on D and can
be a rim protector, especially from the weakside (a la Serge). If this guy
slides out of the top 15, he will be worth the gamble. Who’s gonna pick up the
Cheick?
SWEETEST CHIN
STRAP/MOST PUNNED NAME – FURKAN KORKMAZ – The possibilities are furkan
endless.
GUY THAT PROVED
MIXTAPES ARE JUST MIXTAPES – Thon Maker – Wtf happened to this kid? Bobby
told me he was the real deal years ago and now he’s probably going in the
second round. But he had that sick mixtape. So like, what is going on here. I’d
still blow a second rounder on Perry Jones the 4th.