2016 NBA DRAFT Superlatives

Guys Yelling! It's the 2016 NBA DRAFT Superlatives!!!

I decided to mix it up this year, aka not watch as much tape because this year of college hoops sucked. So instead of giving you boring predictions on like 25 dudes, I decided to make this yearbook style and award some superlatives out to some of the top guys (and not top guys) in this draft. And much like a yearbook I am expecting all that look into said yearbook to sign it with some funny comment about how I should have won most handsome Senior year what you think of these guys and anybody else I didn't cover. Without further ado...

MOST LIKELY TO BUST - Jaylen Brown 6’7” 223 lbs. SF Cal Fr. – Kid looks like a mid first rounder to me. He can stay in the league for a few years just on his physical tools, but I don’t quite understand why you would take him anywhere in the top 5. He has a lazy, low IQ game that relies on athleticism. I think where he ends up will be huge for his development. If he lands with a team that knows how to bring out the best in him, he has a chance to be a solid 2 way player, but if not, he will just be an athletic guy with not much skill in the end of a rotation. I dug up what I could about his personality and if he has the drive, but after 2 minutes of nothing I gave up. If he can get to a coach that can max him out he could be Jae Crowder, but if I were picking…as my favorite Jalen would say “NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO DO IT!”

MOST IN NEED OF GREAT COACH - Marquese Chriss 6’9” 225 lbs. PF Washington Fr. – Chriss really pops when you watch him. Dude gets up. And he’s so young. I was kind of surprised he was getting hype as a possible third pick in the draft, but after watching the tape I totally see it. I compare him to Whiteside because I see the same inconsistent motor, bonehead plays, and some iffy body language, but I don’t think it will take Chriss flunking out of the league to find himself. Someone that can coach him up can make this kid a potential all star at some point in his career and I think it’s likely to happen. Make him a top 5 pick or else…

MOST LIKELY TO STRUGGLE WITH NBA ATHLETES - Jamal Murray 6’4” 200 lbs. PG Kentucky Fr.– A great offensive player, Murray has an advanced understanding of how to score. The problem is he’s not a great passer or athlete.  His defense isn’t very good and I have doubts on this guy. While I think he can be a spark plug off the bench, I don’t see him ever being an above average starter on a good team. He is going to profit off this draft not being very strong after the top few picks.

BEST TWO WAY PLAYER - Kris Dunn 6’4” 205 lbs. PG Providence Sr. – This is the best point guard in the draft, period (if Colin is reading this, settle down). All of his weaknesses are coachable and once he isn’t the focal point of defenses, his game will flourish. With a 6’9” wingspan, Dunn won Big East Defensive POY while carrying the bulk of the offense on a top NCAA team. When you listen to him in interviews, he prides himself on that side of the ball, which is huge seeing how defense is more effort than anything else. Also likes to make flashy plays over the simple ones and I’m real into that.

MOST WOKE - Ben Simmons 6’10” 240 lbs. SF LSU Fr. – Let me start by saying I have no concerns about his character or any of that other bullshit coming out against him. Ben Simmons should be the number 1 pick. His game reminds me of a hybrid of LeBron and Blake. Now before you start calling me crazy, or worse, Skip Bayless, I would like a chance to explain myself. On offense he is very similar to what LeBron was coming out. A gifted athlete (though not to the LeBron extreme because he is the greatest athlete ever produced by mankind or a secret lab somewhere) that doesn’t have a jump shot. Killer vision and the ability to play point for his team. He also reminds me of Blake in the fact that his arms are short and it limits his ability to play interior defense well. Simmons would be best playing next to a rim protector who could cover up his deficiencies. I think his offensive game will end up looking a lot like Blake’s does now, but with slightly more range where he can be a 33% 3 point shooter in 5 years. Philly won’t be an optimal fit for him since they lack outside shooting and have zero spacing, but rest assured, my dude Ben is the best player in the draft.

MOST LIKELY TO HELP TEAM WIN A CHIP - Brandon Ingram 6’9.5” 196 lbs. SF Duke Fr. – When you watch a guy this tall and wiry with that outside jumper you can’t help but think of KD. I think he can be a KD lite. Ingram won’t live and breathe basketball like Durant does (he’s got those sleepy T-Mac eyes), but this is a player that can fit into any team seamlessly. Now the obvious knock is that I can probably bench more than him, which really isn’t a good sign. He will always have a super slender frame, but if KD can play the 4 in today’s NBA, I think Ingram can get there in time. I think he can be the second best player on a championship team.

HIGHEST IQ/COOLEST NAME IN THE DRAFT OBV – Dragan Bender 7’0.5” 216 lbs. PF Bosnia son 18 years old -  You ever been to Bosnia?? This should be the number 3 pick in the draft. I think he will end up as the second or third best player in this class. Bender is younger than everyone, but has the highest IQ. Does the little things to help your team win. Definitely not as bouncy as some of the guys in this draft, but with a long reach and the smarts he has, he will be a plus defender. Bender is part of the new wave of 4 and D guys. Teams want as many of them as they can get and I have no doubt the Dragan will be an excellent one and nothing like his older bro Jonathan.

MOST LIKELY TO WIN 6^TH MAN - Buddy Hield 6’5” 212 lbs. SG Oklahoma Sr. – Buddy Buddy Buddy. Dropped 25 a game with some killer outside shooting. Definitely gave a lot of that back on the defensive end. I believe he will always be a below-average defender and that’s what ultimately hurts his chances of being a good starting PG. The other thing is he isn’t a good passer in a league that is moving towards more ball movement. Buddy is going to fall somewhere between Lou Williams and Kyrie Irving, but that’s a pretty big chasm between the two of them. So where in that gap does he fall? Scouts say he has the intangibles and work ethic, but I think he would be best as a scorer off the bench.

BIGGEST HEAD – Marshall Plumlee -  Another got damn Plumlee??? UGH!!!

MOST LIKELY TO BE COMPARED TO KEVIN LOVE – Henry Ellenson – I watched two minutes of tape on this guy and yes he is the poor man’s version of Kevin Love. Never gonna make an all star game, but can be a solid contributor. One might even call him a rich man’s the Big KO, but not nearly as ugly.

MY DUDE – Cheick Diallo 6’9” 220 lbs. PF Kansas Fr. – I saw this kid kill it in the high school all star games last year, but I guess he lived in Bill Self’s dog house this year because he didn’t get much PT (7.5 mpg). That will change in the NBA. You want the next Bismack Biyombo? Look no further. This guy is active on D and can be a rim protector, especially from the weakside (a la Serge). If this guy slides out of the top 15, he will be worth the gamble. Who’s gonna pick up the Cheick?

SWEETEST CHIN STRAP/MOST PUNNED NAME – FURKAN KORKMAZ – The possibilities are furkan endless.

GUY THAT PROVED MIXTAPES ARE JUST MIXTAPES – Thon Maker – Wtf happened to this kid? Bobby told me he was the real deal years ago and now he’s probably going in the second round. But he had that sick mixtape. So like, what is going on here. I’d still blow a second rounder on Perry Jones the 4^th.

Thus concludes my legendary Draft article. You're welcome.